Are You Putting Yourself Last?

Now that you have started journaling and are working on creating habits that help you understand more about yourself, set an intention to do something nice for yourself every day. Make YOU a priority. Don’t put yourself on the back burner. It is so easy to fall into that place where you commit to doing something for yourself after the house is clean, you’ve entertained the kids, cooked lunch and dinner, but by then you are just too tired for anything else.

I can’t tell you how many times I have planned to work out, get a manicure, or read a book, but I never get to it because I am putting other tasks first. When I do find the time to do something for myself, I am overwhelmed with decisions; I don’t want to waste my precious time or money making the wrong choice.

I often won’t buy myself the jacket or top that I really want because I don’t want to spend that kind of money on myself, but I will spend $50.00 on a new toy for my daughter that she might play with for a day. Or I don’t feel like I should spend my personal time window shopping at the mall because I have mentally taught myself that I have to be productive ALL OF THE TIME.

So, what makes you feel good? It seems obvious to start here when you are looking for happiness, but how often do you really think about the things you actually like for yourself?

I know that I am always worried about making my kids and husband happy, and at the end of the day, there is often nothing left for me. Or I’ve been a caretaker for so long that I don’t really know what makes me feel good. Do I actually like watching murder dramas or have my husband and I just compromised on this genre as something we both can tolerate? Do I enjoy going to Barnes and Noble and getting a coffee or is that just something that I think sounds like a good idea?

Something I started to think about after reading Buy Yourself the F*cking Lillies…What do I like about myself? What really make me happy? I was kind of sad that I really didn’t have an answer to what seemed like a couple of pretty simple questions. This is where the journal can come in handy.

Really think about this.

• How nice are you to yourself?
• Write 10 things that you like about yourself.
• Write 10 things that you do for yourself that give you joy? (Not for your kids or husband, just for you).
• When do you feel the most beautiful? How often are you in this situation?
• What would make you feel physically beautiful or flawless?A haircut? Manicure? New perfume? Lipstick? Earrings? All of these?

As I have started journaling and taking the time for myself, I have started to learn more about what makes me happy now. The things that give me joy evolves as I age, and I need to keep a pulse on how I am changing and what makes me feel good. Going to the bar and dancing may have been it for me 10 years ago, but that has changed. I don’t really like to do that anymore, but what do I like?

I have not totally figured that out, but I have started to become more aware of how I feel when I’m doing certain things. When I wake up early on a Saturday to write, I am a happier mom and wife to the rest of my family. When I commit to going to the yoga class that I have been putting off for weeks, I leave there feeling energized. It has taken me a long time to realize that it is ok to do things for myself.

My Advice to You

Don’t cheap out on yourself.

Don’t skip out on giving yourself the things that make you happy. Start your day off on the right foot.

Treat yourself like you would treat a guest.

Take the extra time to make a special latte in the morning or put on a cute outfit just to go to the grocery store.

Finally, take your dreams seriously, Do one thing a day toward your dream. Write down all of your goals or dreams, and start working toward them. You might have a dream to be a NFL cheerleader, it might be too late for that…or maybe not…but you could take a dance class. You could find other women who like to dance and go out together to show off your skills.

It really boils down to how bad you want something. You have to make yourself a priority. It might take making a few sacrifices in other ways, but you will be happier in the long run. Now go do something nice for yourself!