My husband recently turned 40, and we were fortunate enough to take a trip to Jamaica. I had been envisioning this vacation for months and had packed way too many swimsuits and outfits that I would never wear at home. Who doesn’t do that for vacay? That’s what’s so awesome about getting away. I had the opportunity to let loose a little. I’d never see these people again.
However, I haven’t really felt good in a bikini since my first child was born, and now I have three kids! I will sometimes throw one on with a wrap or if I know I won’t be doing much. I know there is this big body positivity movement, and that’s fantastic. I haven’t been able to feel that confident walking around with all of my flaws to show the world. I hope one day I will.
I want to be the girl who walks by and my husband’s head turns. I’m sorry, but his head wasn’t turning for the one piece. Does that make me shallow? Probably, but our society is shallow. So, before the trip, I found this lime green, sexy, plunging neckline one-piece. I tried it on and thought this will be sexy and unique for the trip. Win-Win…I would feel sexy and wouldn’t have to worry about being uncomfortable.
So, for our second day, we went to Dunn’s River. We were going to be around a lot of people on a boat and climbing falls. This was the day I decided to break out the new vacation suit! My husband was waiting for me to go to breakfast, and when I met him outside, the first question he asked was, “What suit are you wearing? Is it a one-piece?” WTF? Does it matter? Totally got in my head. Is there something wrong with the one-piece? Of course, he pedaled back and said it was just a question, and that he was sure that whatever I was wearing was sexy. Ugh…the pressure to be sexy. That’s another story for a later time.
I instantly became insecure. I don’t think he meant anything by it. I know that he thinks that I’m beautiful, and he loves me with everything, but sometimes he just says the wrong things. If I could do it all over again, I’d still rock the one-piece, but I’d still probably feel better if I could find the confidence to go for the bikini.
P.S. I showed this to my husband. 🙂 And we laughed about it!